


Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers

by duointherain



Series: Beneath [15]
Category: Gundam Wing, Leprechaun (Movies)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24455494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duointherain/pseuds/duointherain
Summary: Everyone is at a posh house party, the kind of house party that goes on all weekend where the owner has their own tavern to dance and drink in. Very nice. Someone should have left that well alone though, as the leprechaun comes looking for his gold.Noirangetrois won my Fandom Trumps Hate auction and this is what she's getting. I hope she likes it *crosses fingers*
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy
Series: Beneath [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1306448
Comments: 18
Kudos: 13
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [noirangetrois](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirangetrois/gifts).



Beneath: A Leprechaun, A Clover, and Luck 1/?  
by Duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing or Leprechaun 

Note: Noirangetrois was kind enough to bid on my story for Fandom Trumps Hate. The prompt was St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans. 

@Noirangetrois

The universe had always been very generous with giving challenges to Duo Maxwell. Perhaps because of those challenges, he was fairly clever, somewhat resilient, and a right bastard when he wanted to be. He’d survived plague, massacres, a couple of wars, give or take how you counted them, made it back from being a poltergeist, and he still considered himself fucking amazingly lucky. 

He had the best boyfriend humanity had ever spawned. His adopted sister was probably going to be president of the earthsphere someday. He’d met the deadline on his novelization of the war. The second half of his advance was in their bank account. He was out at a private house tavern. There was a dance floor and he was well on his way to being drunk. 

“You want to dance,” Heero asked, smiling very slightly. Heero was hot. Heero was always hot, but he was extra hot in tailored slacks, that black leather belt, and a deep blue button-up. 

After Duo had come home from the hospital, Heero had gone back to school. Duo nodded. Heero was really good at reading his mind. 

“Wait, don’t you want to hear the rest of what St. Patrick’s Day is about,” Rey asked, also slightly drunk and very much invested in telling the story of the Irish People. 

One thing Duo couldn’t stand was the sound of his voice, now that half his mouth didn’t work properly. While he could control his left side, with great effort, it just took, well, great effort. There were treatments, but so far they hadn’t worked. Martha was talking to Howard, looking for medical records, looking for unusual side effects from ‘treatments’ given during the war. Maureen wanted him to be patient. He’d heal. She just knew it. Patience had never been one of his best traits. He summoned up all his will and spoke as clearly as he could, “I’ll be back, Rey. I just want to dance a bit.” 

“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes, indignant at his lack of respect for the stories of injustice. “You’re probably Irish. This is the story of your people.”

“Rey, this is a party, not a lecture hall,” Heero said, “Ask Wufei to dance.” 

Wufei, who was there because they were his family of choice, not because he cared for Irish holidays, looked over the top of his glasses. His smirk wasn’t much bigger than Heero’s, but it almost always preceded mischief. “The Irish are just backwater English, anyway,” he said, watching every tiny detail of Relena’s mounting reaction. 

Duo pressed forward on his chair as Relena drew breath in, like some literary fiery dragon. The dragons could have each other. He wanted to dance with Heero. Following Heero to the dance floor, he had to admit that expensive well-tailored slacks were probably worth the money, at least if they were going to be draped over an ass like Heero’s. He was also quite pleased that the problems with the left side of his body didn’t go all the way to the center. 

Also dressed up, he’d worn a green tee-shirt and black pants. Rey had helped him braid strands of pearls into his braid and put black glittery eyeshadow and liner on that made his eyes stand out. Heero had a thing for his eyes. 

At the edge of the dance floor, his chair stopped, and he pressed lift, so it rearranged, helping him up to his feet. Heero waited for him there, so close that the chair pretty much lifted him up into Heero’s arms. He shivered, drinking in Heero’s warmth and scent. His good arm went around Heero’s neck as Heero gently guided the other arm up as well. Arms around Heero’s shoulders, Duo hoped just a bit to get his good foot on Heero’s steel-toed boot. 

Arms around Duo’s back, Heero pulled him as close as he could, face nuzzling into Duo’s hair, as they danced with the slow song. 

Heero was a very good dancer, better than Duo ever thought he would or could have been, but he was content to be held in those strong arms and ride the music with Heero. 

The following song was a little bit faster and Duo grinned happily as Heero took them around the dance floor. 

As the second song came to an end, Heero whispered in Duo’s ear, “Can I dip you?”

“Yeah,” Duo purred. Before that bullshit in the riot, Heero had been teaching him to swing, an ancient form of social dancing from twentieth century America. 

The dip was elegant, easy, Duo on one leg, the weak leg hooked behind his strong leg. At the low end of the tip, Heero kissed him, light, gentle, asking permission softly. Duo roared back, his tongue licking Heero’s lips, slipping past them to tease at Heero’s tongue. Intimate and personal, so their own space that it didn’t matter that they were at someone’s posh ass house party. 

When Heero pulled him back up, lifting him off his foot just enough that Duo could easily get his foot back on Heero’s, Heero whispered, “Let’s set a date. I want to marry you. I want everyone to know. I want the whole world to know we’re married.” 

Duo bent his head, pressing his cheek to Heero’s shoulder. “Not till I can walk.”

“I’ll carry you down the aisle. I know we said we’d both walk down the aisle together, but I’ll carry you, like you carry me all the time.” 

“When I can walk. Q and Mom are going to want a million person wedding in a fucking stadium or something. You wanna go to the courthouse with Wu and Rey, I’m down. The big production has to wait till I can walk.” He left it in the air that he wasn’t sure that was ever going to happen. “I love you, you know that, right? I love you more than anything, and you know, if you really wanna, I will. You hear how I sound? When I speak my wedding vows, I don’t want to sound like I’m fucking drunk.” 

“I love the sound of your voice,” Heero said, carrying them into the next song, which was also a slow song. “I love you the same if you walk or you don’t.” 

“I know,” Duo said, holding tight to his lover, his mate, knowing that Heero wouldn’t complain about the wet spots on his shirt. “I’ll get better. I promise. Just a little more time. If I can’t do it, you can carry me down the aisle.” 

“Okay, my Oxygen. I’ll wait. Though we might want to go up to our room for a little while, if you want.” 

“Yeah,” Duo said, leaning back so he could look at Heero. “At least that still works, uh?”

“Indeed,” Heero agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Randy. He's got a crush on Rey. Rey gets a crush on a new woman introduced as Charlotte. Duo's drunk. Wufei's a bit murderous. Tomorrow, at noon, they're going to get to see the skeleton of a real leprechaun, but tonight, I doubt Randy is getting the cookie he wants.

Beneath: A Leprechaun, A Clover, and Medicine 2/?

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing or the Leprechaun movies.

Notes: Thank you for Noirangetrois for bidding on my project and giving me a great prompt.

The Day Before  
“Yes,” she said, answering her phone with a touch of her fingertip as she turned the page in an antique copy of Grey’s Anatomy.

“Are you available this weekend for a seventy-two-hour gig? There will be a fifteen thousand dollar scholarship applied to your account immediately and another five thousand if you complete the whole party.”

“I have to start class early on Monday. I will be bringing my study materials with me.” She said, flopping back on bed, neat black braids flaring out around her.

“That will be acceptable, however, the fife thousand dollar completion bonus will not apply,” the AI voice on the other side of the phone said.

“Then I can not take the assignment,” Precious said. She was only fifty thousand dollars away from having her full ride at medical school covered. She didn’t want the loans though. She wanted to go home and be a local doctor, taking care of families she’d known her whole life.

She let the AI think, do its internal calculations. The silence stretched out. She looked at her short, galaxy painted nails. Finally, the AI responded. “Agreed. You were requested, specifically. You will be asked to pose for live drawing, but all other ‘benefits’ are optional. There will probably be generous tips.”

“Understood. When is the assignment?”

“This afternoon. A driver will arrive. A wardrobe will be provided. A nondisclosure agreement will be required.”

“Understood.” She said, closing the call. She had packing of her own to do, no matter what the client wanted. Packing was easy though. Her work gear was always packed neatly in a bag in her closet. Study materials were not so easy.

Quickly she packed up her antique books that she needed to write a paper on, her laptop, and on a whim, her own watercolor kit. She also grabbed a set of sweats and a tee-shirt, some food packets, because sometimes clients thought champagne was a macronutrient.

By the time she had that ready, the notification of the transport was already on her phone. She had a studio apartment, clean, if cluttered with study debris, projects and a very nice microscope. Her luggage stacked, she paused in front of the mirror by the door, looked at herself as if she were someone else, the full curved lips soft as the kiss of the dark moon, long ebony braids, warm coffee eyes. “You are going to be magnificent, Dr. Precious Alexandria.”

<><>

The Day Before St. Patrick’s Day

An A-frame made of oak with finishes made of gilt steel the building stood to elevate the status of the man, and his family, who built it. There were floor to ceiling two and a half story tall stained glass windows that told tales of Randy’s family, strength in the Great Depression, of advances in technology and medicine that had made the family a powerhouse. The bar was stocked with more alcohol than Duo had ever heard of and a bartender that was probably as good at recreational chemistry as Duo was.

“This place is like a palace or a pyramid,” Rey said, holding her bottle of beer up like it was going to turn into a laser pointer. “We can’t have peace until we have racial equality!” Her voice rose as she spoke.

Duo, who was happily sitting on Heero’s lap subtly wiggling in all the right ways, to keep Heero’s mind off of Rey’s ranting took another drink of his whiskey through the titanium engraved straw that Quatre had given him and nodded. “Nobody likes folk from L2. That’s just how it is.”

“I’m not talking about YOU,” Rey growled. “I’m talking about People of Color, specifical people with very dark skin.”

If the other tables around the dance floor could have moved away, they probably would have. Dinner was being served still though, the live music elegant and peaceful. Their host, Randy Walker, was a red-headed classmate with emerald earrings and a dazzling smile. “Hello my darlings. Miss Relena! I am so delighted you could make it. I see you brought your family with you.” He nodded his head pseudo-politely in Duo, Heero, and Wufei’s direction. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“Great whiskey,” Duo said, lifting his tumbler, glit straw clinging. He was drunk enough now to have his mask off, his sagging mouth visible.

“And you Mr. Yuy? Did you need an extra chair? I can get you one, if you like.” Randy asked with a smirk.

“They’re fine,” Wufei snapped, irritated without really understanding why. “I thought there was to be a display of antiquities.”

“Oh Master Chang,” Randy purred. “I am utterly delighted that you could be here. I would love your opinion on my antiquities and their provenance, of course.”

“I look forward to it,” Wufei said. “I am no expert on Irish history, I admit.”

“That’s alright. You all know what a leprechaun is, right?”

“Is it a kind of whiskey,” Duo asked.

“No,” Randy sneered. “It’s a short magical person from Ireland. If you catch one, they’ll give you three wishes. It is said that they hide gold at the end of each rainbow.”

“Why,” Duo asked, good arm on the table, chin in his palm “What has heavy metal got to do with light diffraction?”

“Oh that’s right. You were a science major until your recent... incident with the police.”

“Something like that. Answer the question.”

“Well, rainbows and gold are important in Irish history. Gold used to be used as money. You did know that, right?”

Duo wrinkled his nose, let Heero lean him back against Heero’s firm chest.

“Well, then,” Randy continued. “Tomorrow, at the stroke of noon, I shall be delighted to welcome you into my small Irish exhibit. We have ancient coins, and most spectacularly, the skeleton of a real leprechaun. It’s magical of course, so it’s bound by ten magical four-leaf clovers. The myths suggest that leprechauns can be very dangerous.” As he spoke, he kept smiling at Relena, as if his smiles had some extra meaning.

Wufei had brief and confusing urges to strangle him. He was pretty sure that Heero and Duo would help him bury a body still.

Rey gave Wufei as wink, before turning a charming smile on Randy. “Randy, you now I’m a lady’s lady, right?”

“Of course, and I have brought bait.”

Relena raised an eyebrow, but before she could reply, a woman of extraordinary beauty approached. Long delicate braids, curves like the rise of the sun, lifting everything, covered by a gold lace gown that flowed around her. Whatever Rey had been about to say, every word got pushed off the to do list. She was mad underdressed in jeans and a black tee-shirt, but she stood and offered her chair to the beauty. Her own blue eyes widened, an awkward smile on her face.

“This is Charlotte. She’s here with us for the weekend. You two get to know each other for a while. Later, I hope the three of us will get to spend some quality time together.”

“Hi,” Rey said, motioning to the beautiful lady to her vacated chair. “Can I, uh, get you something to drink? I’m Rey.” She held out her hand to shake, wishing like fuck she’d put on a tux.

“We have waiters, Relena.” Randy teased as he stood up and offered his chair to Rey. “Can I count on all of you to be there for the ribbon cutting tomorrow?”

“Will there be whiskey,” Duo asked, trying to imitate Maxwell the Pig.

“Indeed there will,” Randy promised before he winked and walked away.

“Oxygen,” Heero said gently. “You’ve had enough.”

“Was the murder lust that obvious?”

Heero kissed Duo’s neck.

“I’ll help,” Wufei offered like a good friend.

“We will not kill anyone,” Heero said firmly. “Oxygen and I are going to bed.”

“Bai,” Rey said, waving them off, as she scooted her chair closer to Charlotte. “Baibai, Wufei. So, my friends call me Rey. What do your friends call you?”

“When I’m at work,” Precious said, “They call me anything they like.”

“Well, you can’t be at work all the time,” Rey said, elbow on the table, a smitten smile on her face.

“We’re leaving now,” Duo said, giving Rey a glare.

She paid them no mind, her heart in the process of giving itself.


	3. Burgers and Stupid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo and Heero plan to sleep under the stars, but Randy provides a camper. He confesses his plan to get Rey's heart. Heero and Duo probably talked some sense into him.

Beneath: A Lepruachuan, A Clover, and Medicine 3/  
by duointherain

The lodge had three levels. The bedrooms were all on the third level, after a what Duo had described as a fuck ton of stairs. Heero hadn’t even asked if they were going up those stairs. He could have carried Duo easily, but he was pretty sure Duo had had enough of that for the day. The weather was good, nice spring weather. 

Heero spread the emergency blanket they kept in the trunk on the grassy lawn. A light breeze brought pink petals fluttering by them, and Duo’s smile caught Heero for a moment like the world had stopped. As much as he told himself that he was living by his emotions, much of the time he lived by logic, until Duo caught him. He felt like some happy butterfly caught in a light too splendid to really understand. He really didn’t think he deserved him, but he promised himself he’d keep working towards being good for his boyfriend. He stopped smoothing out the blanket and walked on his knees to where Duo sat. “Can I have a kiss please?”

“Good sir,” Duo said, leaning forward, one arm as good as limp in his lap, but his other hand reaching out to caress over Heero’s face, adoringly he pressed a light kiss to Heero’s lips. He ignored that only half of his mouth worked. If it didn’t matter to Heero, then in this moment, it didn’t matter to him. “I shall give thee twice the kiss. One for thee and one for me.” 

Heero pushed up into the kiss, taking it a little deeper, his tongue slipping into Duo’s mouth. There was nothing wrong with Duo’s tongue and they rolled around each other. After the kiss broke, Heero laid his head on Duo’s lap. “How are we going to have sex out here on a blanket?”

“Sex under the stars? Sounds good to me,” Duo said, running his fingers through Heero’s hair. “Also that fancy ass dinner wasn’t enough for me. I ordered food.”

“What?” Heero asked, looking up. 

“I wanted a burger,” Duo said, winking, “and I think that’s it.” 

“Maxwell,” Randy said, striding towards their blanket. “Did you really order food? The gate guard said he let a delivery service with Burger King through.” 

Heero stood, moving towards the little blue pickup to get Duo’s food. “I did, Randy, but I didn’t order enough for you.” 

“That’s okay, Maxwell. I don’t eat such food anyway. It’s bad for you, you know. Why are you two out here on a blanket? I don’t want Miss Relena to think I treated her family’s stray poorly.”

“Yeah,” Duo said, turning his chair around. “She ain’t never gonna suck yer dick, just so you know. Her name is Rey.”   
“Ray is a male name. That’s inappropriate for a lady.” 

“You go tell her that. She gonna kick yer ass. She probably gonna kick yer ass anyway.” 

“Why aren’t you in your room,” Randy asked, nose slightly wrinkling. 

“Stairs, mother fucker,” Duo said playfully. 

Heero handed Duo the burger he ordered, paper wrapped back. 

“Oh!” Randy said, both hands moving to cover his mouth, “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I really didn’t mean anything by that, I just, I am so sorry.” He paced around for a moment, genuinely beside himself. “I know! I’ll have the camper brought down. It’s very nice, two bedrooms and a full bath. It has a ramp for accessibility. Will that be okay?”

“That’s really nice of you.” Duo said around a mouthful of cheap burger. “Thanks.”

“I am pretty sure they sent an extra burger,” Heero said suggestively. 

“Yeah, he can have it. Want a burger, Randy?”

“Are you sure it’s safe to eat?” 

Duo looked at him with big puppy dog violet eyes, half his burger already gone, “You fed me pate bullshit with kale roses. If I can survive that, you can survive this.”

“Fine,” Randy said, sitting down on the blanket across from Heero. “Let me just message and get that camper.” He quickly sent a message to whatever staff was up all night waiting for his messages and then accepted the burger from Heero. “Now, please, now tell me why Rey doesn’t like me. If she doesn’t like me, why did she come to my party?”

“She came because you said it would be a St. Patrick’s Day party and Duo said he’d never been to any such thing.” Heero said, eyeing Duo’s lap like he wished he could lay his head there still. 

“She also didn’t want to tell Mom that she’s fighting with her Sociology 532 professor. Some bullshit about the value of riots and eating the rich.” Duo had to catch a bit of burger that tried to escape his mouth, but out there on the lawn with Heero he didn’t feel self-conscious, just annoyed. 

“She’s richer than I am,” Randy protested, unwrapping his burger with more caution than Duo had examined some IEDs. 

“We corrupted her,” Duo said, shoving the last bit of his burger in his mouth. 

“Corrupt me too then,” Randy said, sniffing the edge of his burger. “I really like her. She’s so smart and her eyes are so beautiful. I think I’m in love with her.” 

“That’s unfortunate,” Heero said with a straight face.

“What,” Randy said, swallowing quickly.

“She’s lesbian, probably,” Duo said, contentedly sipping his milkshake. “Didn’t you see her making heart eyes over that guest who came in at the end of dinner? The pretty woman with dark skin?”

“I did! But that’s part of my plan. I hired Charlotte, who is an escort, to come and soften her up. Then I’ll join them and she’ll fall in love with how open-minded I am.” 

Heero and Duo looked at each other for a moment. Duo almost choked on his laugh that he wasn’t going to let escape. “My man, that is the worst idea I have ever heard. Rey might actually fucking hurt you over it.” 

“You think so too?” Randy asked Heero.

“It is a bad idea. I might have to hurt you on Duo’s behalf.” 

“Fuck Heero,” Duo said, sounding hurt. “I can hurt him myself, if I want. I’m not,” he paused, blew steam out his nose, “not that disabled.” 

“I’m sure you could hurt me just fine,” Randy said. 

Heero and Duo both looked at him like he had no idea what he was talking about. “Thanks,” Duo said, lip twitching. “Let’s hope it don’t come to that, but you keep in mind that Rey body slammed the cop who did this to me. So it ain’t like you gon push her up against a wall like some romance novel.”

“Relena Peacecraft body slammed the cop who left that dent in your head?”

“The dent is temporary,” Heero said firmly, reaching out to lay his hand on Duo’s arm. 

“Yeah,” Duo said, to both. “Before you go and leave us to our evening, what the hell is a leprechaun?”

“Irish myth, mostly,” Randy said, “There were some scary movies from before colony. Mostly it was supposed to scare the girls. Protect a girl, get some pussy.” 

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Duo said, squinting. 

“Have you ever even had any pussy?” Randy asked, eyes widening, giving Duo a challenging glare. 

“Naw, but Rey ain’t scared of shit, just so you know. She used to crush on ‘Ro so bad she yelled for him to come kill her. Message me the correct spelling of lepruachuan so I can do a search, uh? You have a good night.”

The camper was just arriving at that point and Randy stood up, dusted off his backside. “For L2 scum, you are pretty demanding.” 

“Yeah? You wouldn’t know a National Razor if it was the last thing you saw.” 

“What the hell is a ‘national razor’?” 

“Those words aren’t hard to spell. Look it up. See you tomorrow, Randy.” 

“You know, I think I like you, Maxwell. Don’t wander. They let the dogs out at night.”

“Good to know.” Duo said, accepting the second burger that Heero offered him. 

After he walked out of earshot, Duo finished the last piece of his burger. “Rey’s going to kick his ass.” 

Heero nodded. “I’m tired.”

“I’ll take first watch,” Duo said. “Will you get the field kit out of the car, please?”

“Sure,” Heero said, already on his feet and pulling up the blanket as Duo rolled towards the camper. Seriously, he’d been in apartments smaller than the camper. The door opened automatically and Duo powered on up and in. 

Inside, he transferred to a white leather armchair and voice commanded his chair to fold down and move out of the way. The tingle at the nape of his neck was more than just Randy being an idiot. 

When Heero got in, he said, “Lock the door. Give me the night sight binoculars, uh?”

“See something?” Heero kissed his temple tenderly.

“Ehh, mostly just a feeling. Get some sleep.” Duo had the glasses up, watching intently. There was movement in bushes. It was probably nothing. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Heero said, laying down on the couch, still dressed, shoes still on. He was out in moments.

Duo let him spend a little time watching him, feeling the joy of how beautiful Heero was to him. Then he went back to searching. It was probably nothing.


	4. A bear?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo's standing guard until something spooks him. Heero thinks maybe it was a bear or a really big dog, or a hallucination. It was his watch now. Whatever it was, scaring Duo might be about to cost it its life. Heero was not going to tolerate Duo being harmed, even just scared.

Beneath: A Leprechaun and A Clover 4/?  
by duointherain

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

Heero slept. He didn’t always have an easy time sleeping, so Duo was glad to stand watch for him. It was tempting to let Heero sleep through the night, but that would have been a violation of their compact. Besides, Duo wasn’t sure if he was going nuts, or if there was really something out there. 

Duo leaned closer to the window, lips tight. Whatever it was, it pale, bipedal, and fast. It had some kind of spotty steal equipment that have off zero magnetic resonance. That tech gave Duo a total hardon and only his self-preservation kept him from going out and just asking to see it. 

Whoever was out there, was moving in a decidedly hostile pattern, moving ever closer to both the house and the camper. Every time it blipped into existence, he made a mark on the grid he’d drawn out. His anxiety was wartime levels, even though he expected it was some bullshit that Randy cooked up. 

Randy was a fuckin’ asshole. Thinking about how he’d brought an unwitting sex worker in to trick Rey into bed was infuriating. He knew Rey could defend herself, that she was smart and fast on her mental feet. He knew that as badass as he thought he was, he was alive because she had saved him. That did nothing to make him not want to hurt Randy. 

A slight white blur caught his attention back to the world outside the camper. It was closer. This was some shit that Randy was doing to. Duo just knew it was. He marked his grid. Fucking Martha was going to say this was just some echo from brain damage. BrAiN DaMaGe WILL do tHaT, he heard her saying in his head in head, but with an overlay of mocking because fuck that. He’d had plenty of head injuries before this and no medical care. Having medical care shouldn’t make it fucking worse. In that moment, his new limitations annoyed him deeply. 

As a mostly, sorta Catholic, he wasn’t actually sure thoughts were in the brain anyway. Thoughts might be in the soul. So he didn’t know where the soul was. He didn’t know how to spell leprechaun either and Randy, the bastard, has never sent over the right spelling. Rey was probably still walking in the garden with her new love interest and he wasn’t going to interrupt that. 

Then the camper shook. Not a lot, just like enough that the wind was blowing hard. It didn’t rouse Heero. Heero trusted him to watch over them to the core of his bones. Summoning his wheelchair would definitely wake Heero up. If there was something out there, maybe it was dogs. Randy did say they’d be letting the dogs out. Earth had all kinds of weird-ass animal shit. Quatre showed him a video of a kangrun once that was a huge animal, big feet, that hopped around with its baby in a pocket on its belly. He had not forgotten the waterdeer. Maybe there were landsharks. 

It was hard to understand why everyone loved Earth so much. Too much gravity, broken environmental system that sometimes dropped frozen water from the sky and sometimes tried to bake a person, twenty kabillion types of animals, most of whom would try to eat a human, and more bugs than that. “Civilized my ass,” he whispered. 

Then something hit the window. He froze. His gut told him not human, not even a little, even though it had two eyes, a mouth, nose, in the right places, but it was pale with dark eyes. Beautiful, but more like dead meat smelled sweet, then something one would want to look at. Very slowly, it licked the window with a red tongue, under pointy teeth. 

Duo screamed and jumped back, landing on his ass between the table and the couch. “Saint Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray....”

“Duo?” Heero said, rolling over to rest a hand on Duo’s shoulder. “What is it?”

“It was a leprechaun! It was! It’s evil!” 

Heero reached over and easily drew Duo up onto the couch with him, wrapping his arms around him. “Tell me what you saw?”

“Humanoid, bipedal, moving in strategic patterns over the last few ours, dark eyes, mouth full of fangs, longer than normal red tongue. It licked the window.” 

“Your heart is racing a kilometer a minute,” Heero said, hand on Duo’s chest. “There is no such thing as leprechauns.” 

“Then what the fuck did I see? It wasn’t a fucking land deer!” 

“I don’t know. Maybe it was one of Randy’s dogs. There are some very big dogs on Earth, like 200 pounds plus.” 

“Why are dogs that big?” 

“I don’t know. This is kind of out in the wilds. Maybe it was some kind of bear. Let me get you some anxiety meds. It’s my watch now.”

“Okay. Fine. I thought we were going to have sex.”

“When we get home.”

“I hate Earth holidays. I want to go back to the colonies. They don’t have bears or land deers there!”

“We can do that, but let’s finish college first. I’m going to take your shoes off, okay.” 

“Yeah. I’m not seeing things! I’m not hallucinating!” 

“Multiple doctors told us that could be an outcome from the stem cell treatment, that as pathways rebuild that the mind might misfire. It means you’re healing. It’s not a bad thing.” 

“I didn’t hallucinate!” Duo half-begged, half shouted, as Heero took off his shoes. “What I saw was evil. Bears can’t be that big. Are bears that big?” 

“A brown bear can be almost 400 kilo. A white bear, who live up by where I fought Zechs, could be nearly 700 kilo. Swallow.” Heero held out Duo’s pills and a glass of water. 

Duo took it, shot back the water wishing it was whiskey. “I want to go home. Earth is a toxic dump! 700 kilo? What the fuck does it eat?”

“Fish,” Heero said, smiling very slightly, “and leprechauns.” 

“Fuck. No wonder leprechauns are extinct.” Duo snuggled down, eyes already fluttering closed. “You’ll be here when I wake up, promise?”

“I promise,” Heero said, kissing Duo’s temple. “Sleep. Your brain is healing.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Heero stayed there until he was sure that Duo was asleep. Then he picked up the night sight binoculars. Duo had kept a good map of sightings. Something out there scared Duo, so he needed more information before he decided if he was going to kill it or not.


	5. A Good Time in a Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heero and Duo attempt to get into the house, because it might be safer. Rey and Charlotte get attacked by something. Randy swears it's not his fault. Duo goes missing.

Beneath: Leprachauns and Clovers 5  
by duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing or the Leprechaun movies. 

Heero regretted his words as soon as he looked at Duo’s tracking work. As soon as Duo woke, he’d apologize. Even missing part of his skull, on an experimental treatment that could cause hallucinations, Duo was very capable. 

The movement patterns could not be dogs, or bears. Duo had clearly stated that he’d seen some ‘thing’ with unusual teeth and an unusually long tongue. The most likely answer was movie makeup, a movie monster to scare them. Rey wasn’t going to be Randy’s only problem. 

His next thought was that it might not be just them, so he pulled his laptop out of the go bag and messaged Rey. “Be on guard. Sightings of unknown entity(s), possibly hostile, probably a hoax.” 

The reply came after a moment. “Having sex. Leave us the fuck alone.” 

“Be safe,” Heero replied, meaning both vectors. Heero honestly expected more replies to that. Rey had been pretty hot-headed since Duo’s injury. He understood. From the end of the wars till he’d pretty much moved into Maureen’s house, he’d had his own hot-headed moments. He liked that Duo thought he was always calm and rational, but honestly, if it hadn’t been for Maureen’s intervention, he might have gotten himself sent to a juvenile lock-up facility, not that they would have been able to hold him. 

So he opened a different chat window. “Martha. This is Heero.” 

After a moment, she replied, “I know who you are.” 

“Will you please use the stealth drone tracking us to provide me with additional information about one or more possible hostiles in this location?”

“What makes you think I have access to a stealth drone in your location?”

“...” Heero knew. 

“Fine. Hold a moment.” 

Heero took that moment to use the night binoculars and search for movement. The unknown had stopped, crouching down over a dog in a lateral recumbent position. The dog was rapidly cooling. The unknown looked up at Heero, looking directly at him, smiled, sharp teeth covered in bloody darkness. It held up its hand and beckoned him closer. 

“An unknown hostile seems to have killed one of the guard dogs.” 

“Are you in a secure location?”

“Negative. We are in a metal trailer.”

“Relocate. I will send a larger drone to extract you.” 

“Copy that,” Heero typed, “There are approximately twenty-five civilians.” 

“They are outside my scope of concern.” 

“Understood.” Heero didn’t feel that way and didn’t think Duo was going to feel that way. 

Duo had been sleeping all of twenty minutes by then, but it couldn’t be helped. “Duo.” 

“Fuck. Off!” Duo grumbled.

“I’m sorry. You were right. There are hostiles. Martha advises moving to a more secure location.” 

Throwing the covers back, Duo sat up, grabbed the pant leg on his less than helpful left leg and threw both legs over the side of the couch. “I really thought this was just going to be a lot of drinking and a good time. I don’t want to fight any more fucking monsters.” 

“Martha is sending extraction transport.”

“And what about all of Randy’s other guests? Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck,” Duo grumbled. “Pitstop, come here! Help me transfer.” 

Heero waited for the wheelchair to wake up, unfold itself, and glide appropriately near Duo before he came close and leaned over. Duo wrapped his good arm around Heero’s neck and let himself be lifted off his feet and pivoted. It wasn’t the way physical therapists had trained them, but it was they way the liked it. Still hanging with his toes just barely touching, Duo kissed Heero’s lips softly. He could feel Heero’s heart beating in his chest and all of his grumpiness floated away like smoke. “Let’s fuck these bastards up, uh?”

Kissing back, Heero nuzzled him before setting him down in his chair. “We can’t control everything. We don’t have to. I don’t want to fall back into a wartime mindset. I like being here with you in the present. We will manage this, then we will have some fun.” 

Duo pushed up, kissing Heero again, smiling. “You know there was a time when I never thought I ever hear you talk like that. This bullshit does not cost us everything we’ve built.” 

“Whatever’s out there is either actors, in which case we will sue Randy’s family, or some kind of unknown species and no matter what it looks like, it will die just like anything else.”

“What you saw scared you?”

“Yes,” Heero said, staying with English because no matter what he said, his stress levels were high. He just understood that this was a temporary problem and they would fix it. “At this time we will operate on the idea that they are some intelligent, aggressively dangerous, non-human species.” 

Heero checked Duo’s pistol from the go bag, checked the magazine, loaded it and chambered a round. He handed it to Duo, who double-checked it before putting it into the built-in holster “We’ve done hard things before. We can do this.” 

“Hn,” Heero agreed, as he tightened his double shoulder holster, firearms already stowed. He tucked the go bag, with his laptop and their essential tools under Duo’s seat from behind. “I’ll open the door. You move, I’ll jump on from behind.” 

“Copy,” Duo said, as he typed in the code to allow for tubo mode. He flipped a retro button protector, his middle finger resting on a red button.“Ready when you are.” 

“I love you so much. There is no one I’d rather be in crisis with than you.” 

“Thanks,” Duo said, winking, a violet eye darker than normal. 

Heero knew this side of Duo though. It was never Duo, the sweet, friendly, cuddly, silly man who went it to battle. It was Shinigami. He opened the door. The chair actually roared, just a recording of a 2025 Mustang, but it was loud enough to shake the camper trailer. Heero jumped on the lowered step in the back as Duo flew by, strapping himself in, back-to-back with Duo as they went. 

Hells Bells blaring loud enough that lights in the tavern started flickering on, Duo leaned forward just a bit, willing them to make the door. 

The chair had lights and it was just enough to bathe them in a spotlight. The trip wasn’t long. Heero probably could have made the run in less than a minute, at full out speed. Pitstop was faster. 

They made it halfway before getting it with a force hard enough to pitch them over sideways. Duo’s weak hand was good enough to release his safety restraint, while his good hand drew his pistol. 

The thing, whatever it was, had a jaw that seemed to dislocate, wide enough to have teeth in Heero’s shoulder and the side of his bicep. Duo put a bullet through the thing’s head, the force of which ripped it off Heero, leaving his arm striped in red. Heero freed himself from the back of chair, both pistols coming out as he rose. 

The thing was already gone, leaving a trail of ink black blood, as floodlights came on in front of the tavern. 

“What in the ever-loving fuck?” Randy screamed. 

Three dogs lay dead with no sign of the creature. 

Struggling to his feet, Duo growled back, “A fucking leprechaun attacked us! I shot it. It ain’t dead.” 

“Those are dogs, not leprechauns, you fucking idiot!” 

Randy strode down the stairs, fists, doubled up until his knuckles were white, dominant arm flexing as he strode towards Duo.

Heero spun, both pistols aimed at Randy. 

“Are you going to shoot me, Yuy?”

“If I have to.” 

Duo pulled Pitstop upright and slumped down in it. “We need to get inside. There is something dangerous out here.”

“The only thing dangerous out here is you! What is that awful classical bullshit you’re playing?”

“Heero,” Duo snapped, and Heero took his place behind Duo. They rolled up the ramp towards the open door. “Randy, argue inside. It’s dangerous!”

“I’m calling the police! I’m going to have you arrested.” 

“Good. Get the police. Martha is sending help too.” 

A woman screamed. Randy’s eyes went to the room Rey was in. 

Then the floodlights and all the lights other than Pitstop went dark. 

There was a low laugh that seemed to cover the whole area, it faded out with a satisfied purr. 

Duo rolled into the house and Heero ran up the stairs towards where Relena’s bedroom was. Randy wasn’t far behind. 

Duo wanted with all his being to run after them too, but he closed the door, locked every lock on it, then looked for some kind of security system that would shield the windows. There were so many windows, floor to ceiling in some places. To have spent so much money on a place and it’s not even defensible was a crime. 

Rey swung the iron poker at the creepy guy who had crawled in through their window. He looked like a St. Patrick’s Day Joker cosplay with a saw blade for teeth. He moved like he’d brought his own strobe light with him. Her first swing got his shoulder, which drove him back, her second swing hit his head, which shifted like he was made of clay. Being sure he wasn’t human, she let all her rage, everything bottled up from her dad’s death, Duo’s injury, finding out she had a lost brother, everything went into a double-handed inelegant jab into the guy’s face, right through his eye. 

Charlotte aimed at him, but didn’t fire because Rey and he were falling down. Even with his head clearly busted, his arms reached for Rey’s naked and unprotected body. This brought Charlotte off the bed, to kick his arm, stamp on his hand as much as she could. 

By the time Heero go to the door, Rey was stabbing the iron poker into the mush of the guy’s head. 

“OH my god,” Randy screeched. “Oh my god! I’m calling the police!” 

Heero stepped into the room, grabbed a sheet from the bed and shielded the women so Randy couldn’t see. “It’s not dead,” Heero said firmly. 

“The fuck it’s not,” Rey said, blood dripping from the poker in her hand. “I don’t know what it was, but it’s definitely dead.” 

By this time, Charlotte had her clothes on, Rey’s clothes in her hands. “Get away from it.” 

Heero backed up, keep the sheet up to shield Rey. She handed her poker to Charlotte who took a guardian position between Rey and whatever it was. 

“Did you get the police yet,” Heero growled.

“My phone doesn’t have a signal,” Randy said, a bit of fear. 

Heero herded Rey away from the mess on the floor as Charlotte pushed by and went to jab her finger in Randy’s chest. “What the was that, uh? Our contract is void. I’m going to see that you are blacklisted!”

“You fucking whore, who cares what you say?”

“I do,” Rey and Heero said at the same moment. 

“A faggot, a lesbo, and a whore walk into a bar,” Randy sneered. “God, I didn’t bring that thing. I’m not a freak. It probably came with you.” 

“You’re such a cry baby incel,” Charlotte snarled. “Stop playing games. What is that thing?” 

“I don’t know!” 

Dressed now, Ray took a good look at the mess. It was reforming.... She strode to her bag, her phone. “I don’t have any signal either.” 

“I contacted Martha prior to coming back to the tavern,” Heero said. “She is sending evac transport, for some of us.” 

“Yuy,” Wufei said, sternly.

“Two unidentified bipedal life forms, extremely aggressive and hostile. Not human, not mech.” Heero moved Rey towards the door. 

Wufei stepped into the room to look. “Yāojing. Someone has offended them.” 

“Well someone better get on with making amends,” Charlotte snapped, a hand on her hip. “I can’t imagine who would be offensive.” 

“Chang, does your phone have a signal?” Heero closed the door as he herded everyone out. 

“No. We should wake everyone and advise people that there is a threat.”

“There’s no threat,” Randy snapped. “If there are real leprechauns, and I’m not convinced this isn’t some shitty joke you’re playing, they’re just Irish fairies. They aren’t going to hurt anyone.”

“Heero is bleeding,” Rey pointed out. 

“That thing came at us,” Charlotte said. “I do not think it was friendly.”

“Well, it’s dead now, isn’t it. Everything’s quiet, even your boyfriend’s god awful music.” 

“Duo!” Heero nearly knocked Randy on his ass as he ran by him and down the stairs. 

From the top of the stairs, he could see the door was open. He ran faster.


	6. Don't Drink Ale in Underhill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo gets to meet the leprechauns.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 6

by: Duointherain

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

  


Somewhere in the snarky underbelly of Duo’s mind, he expected he ought to feel helpless, lost, terrified even. What he actually felt was murderous as fuck. Duct tape over his mouth, around his wrists, he’d been taped to his own chair and wheeled out before he could even call for help. He was so mad, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to kill his abductor, himself, or both. When the bag went over his head, he got real sure that it was his abductor.    
  
Earth holidays were the fucking worst!

He sat quietly, wiggling his wrists as unobtrusively as he could. Effective murder required at least one hand. His mind echoed with past murders, past deaths and the memories and feelings pulled him in bipolar directions. Guilt and joy both wanted him, and a deep roaring sorrow at promised he was never going to be suitable for the world Rey wanted to build. 

Then the entire world dropped away under Pitstop. His lungs felt like they were trying to escape out his eyes. They landed soft as a feather. The very unusual experience made Duo think he’d been sucked out an airlock, but they didn’t have those on Earth. Some kind of tech he’d never heard of before maybe? Then he was scared. 

Honestly, it was just justice that he’d die from going to some rich asshole’s party. Having spent most of his life hating and being jealous of rich people, becoming hadn’t really improved the perception. 

When the hood came off, suddenly, much to his eternal consternation, he suddenly understood Commander Une much more.    
  
“See? I told you he’d be alive! Alive!”

“Alive!” 

Two sets of bright green eyes stared at him like he was part god, part mystery, and part the solution to all their problems. Dark violet eyes stared sternly back at them. For the absolute first time in his life he was the adult in the room and it was just utterly wrong.

The slightly taller of the two did some kind of little dance, smack hard-soled shoes against what sounded like a thick wooden floor, then he bowed with a homey awkwardness. In some language he said something. 

Duo wasn’t so far into adulthood that he didn’t know how to give someone a roll of the eyes that told them they were being stupid. 

The expression wasn’t lost on energetic boy. The fingernails on his right hand grew long, darkened and he stabbed them into the thick wooden table that Duo only then noticed. 

The other one clapped his hands, leaned forward and pushed the mug, which as tall as Duo’s head, a little closer with an offering smile. 

Each moment with these two was teaching him why he annoyed Une so fucking much. Once one has decided that one is the adult in the room, being treated like a child was deeply annoying. For just a second, he thought about apologizing to her. 

“Drink the ale,” the sweeter of them said, smiling. 

That smile was the least helpful smile Duo had ever seen. Who the fuck sharpens their teeth like that? He wanted to say something juvenile and snarky, but there was still tape over his mouth. So he lifted his chin, kind of gesturing about it. 

“Oh yes, oh yes, Crow sir!” The sweet kid said, reaching forward to pull the tape off over the glaring objections of Mr. Tap Dance. 

The tape was very good tape. It came off with a pull and took out Duo’s five o’clock shadow with it. “Son of a BITCH!” 

They both stared at him like he’d never heard such words, but it was going to be the new catchphrase now. If they were kids, he could use that. He’d heard Une scream at him enough that he could make this work. “Just exactly what do you think you’re doing? Is this some kind of prank?”

“Spake Gaeilge!” Angry boy growled. “Crow!” 

“Well, first off,” Duo said, finally getting his good hand free, so he could rip the tape off his weaker hand. “My name is Duo, not Crow. Second of all, what in the hell does ‘spake gay lick mean?” 

Angry boy slowly stood up a little straighter, face kind of lengthening with some deep righteous outrage. His head slowly leaned back, the strange vertical irises in his eyes narrowing to slits. 

Now that was fun. Maybe being the adult in the room had some perks. Feeling considerably less afraid, he rolled forward and looked into the big mug. It smelled like sweet beer. He did like beer. “For third, why are you green?”

“Haily doesn’t speak English very well. England is the land of the monsters. He’d very much like it if you could speak Irish, please.” 

“According to my adopted sister, I just managed to learn to speak English properly. I can speak a little Japanese, and a few words of Chinese. You gotta have some Chinese when Wu loses his shit or it just gets worse. I’m not from Earth. Where are you guys from?”

“Éire.” Angry boy said, arms folded across his chest. He glared at his brother and spoke in some strange language that Duo thought made Japanese sound like English’s closest cousin.    
  
“Great, great,” Duo said, hefting the mug. “I’m from L2. It’s getting pretty decent there. I can’t wait to go back. So? Why are you two green? Everyone else I’ve met on Earth was somewhere where on the red spectrum. Green is more like blueish than red, wouldn’t you say?” 

Both the boys looked at him like he was talking about disconnecting the O2 generators. “We’re leprechauns.”    
  


Haily motioned like Duo should drink. 

“Heero says leprechauns aren’t real.” 

“Sure, sure,” Helio said with as sweet a smile as one could have with teeth like a saw blade. “Then it’s no problem to be in the Underhill and drink the ale, right?”

“What’s Underhill?”

“Tis where we live. Now, if take a drink of the ale, we’ll know if you’re the crow or not?”   
  
“I am clearly not a crow,” Duo pointed out as pedantically as he was ever likely to get.

“Bean sidhe!”   
  
Duo made a face, a sneer, then picked up the mug and drank. It was the most wonderful tasting stuff he’d ever had! It tasted like honey and whiskey and Heero kisses. Before he was done, he’d drank a quarter of it and when he set it back down, he felt better than he’d ever felt in his whole life. 

With his weak hand he reached up pushed his bangs out of his face while the laughter started. Glorious freeing laughter bubbled out of him and he felt like his soul had opened up to spring for the first time. “That the hell is a bane sheee?”

“Irish spirit of death, the crow.”

“Coooooool! This stuff is great! Heero has got to have some of this!”

“No, no, no,” Helio said. “Mortals can’t drink the food of Underhill. Only the fae.”

That made no sense to Duo whatsoever so he laughed some more. He felt so light and free. Without even thinking about it, he pushed Pitstop back and stood up. Finger gunning at them both, he said, “If humans can’t drink it, what did you think would happen to me, uh?”

Helio looked sheepish, then cleared his throat. “Death.”    
  
“I can’t die,” Duo said, suddenly feeling like he should try that tap-dance that Haily had done before. “I’m the god of death!”

“Bean sidhe!” Haily agreed happily, doing the dance slowly so Duo could follow. 

“Okay, bean death! I’m Bean Death,” Duo said, laughing and dancing, either with great elegance. “What did you bring me here for?”

“I made a mistake,” Helio said sadly. “The Randy said if I granted a wish, he’d free our father. I said I would. He lied.” 

“That asshole is holding your father? What did he want for his wish?”

“To make the woman of peacemaking have sex with him?”

“Rey and Randy? Oh that’s fucking never happening.”   
  
“It will,” Haily said, “Wish can’t be broken.”

Duo stopped dancing, his eyes a deep, deep purple. “If he touches her when she doesn’t want it, I’m going to make him wish for me to kill him.” 

“Break the wish, save the father,” Haily said firmly. 

“How do I break the wish?”

“The crow breaks the wish,” Haily insisted.    
  
“Great, I’ll break the wish. Just tell me how?”

“We don’t know. We have to ask the father.” 

“Okay, where’s the father?”

“In the house of Randy.”    
  
“Okay, fine,” Duo grabbed up the ale, finished it. He didn’t even care that his ears were ringing now. “I can go in the house of Randy. I ain’t’fraid’no furkin pate!”

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heero and Rey both lose their minds.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 7/?  
by Duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing  
Short update...

Precious moved towards Heero, hands up like she was going to try calming him down. Rey held up her arm to block her path, shook her head hard no. 

Rey had seen that look on Duo’s face dozens of times. Duo was a murderer and Rey had not a single doubt about that. When he’d threatened that teacher who had tried to touch her inappropriately, she knew then and just as much in the present moment that Duo Maxwell would do exactly as he said he would do. Heero had always been more civilized, knowing which fork to use, how to waltz, ride a horse, tie his tie, speak with a flawless high-class accent. Duo was a rogue. Heero was a well-trained soldier. 

Except in this moment, he wasn’t. 

Randy had said something stupid, something inconsequential and no worse than other things he’d already said, but it flipped a switch in Heero. His body tensed like electrified fluid. Those blue eyes narrowed like lasers. Those fingers had barely changed position, but now really looked like hands that could bend steel. She knew that Heero would never hurt her, but it scared her nonetheless. 

“What did you say,” Heero asked Randy, who clearly had not picked up on the warning signals. 

“I said,” Randy started, taking a threatening step towards Heero. “Your pathetic boyfriend needs to stop the bullshit practical jokes.” 

Rey gave Precious a look, a motion to get her to stay back and ran to get in between them. 

Heero leaned close, whispered in Randy’s ear. 

Randy wet himself, the puddle running over his expensive shoe and pooling on his hardwood floor. “Yeah. Okay. Sure.” 

Rey came up short, her hair standing on end. The veneer of civilization had left Heero. The man standing so close to Randy that yellow now brushed up against his sneaker was barely Heero, barely human. While angry Duo was feral, wild, truly angry Heero was refined rage, a living sword and little more. She’d never been that frightened before. Not when she pretended to be from L2 to keep from getting abducted, not after her father was murdered, not when facing down Durmail Catalonia. The man now glaring at her didn’t seem human. 

Precious stepped in front of her, pistol held behind the flowing golden lame gown. 

Heero grunted, eyes scanning her with a mechanical lack of emotion, followed by a twitch of conflict. 

“Heero, I’m okay. I’ll be okay. You don’t have to protect me anymore.” 

“Hn,” Heero grunted again, then ran out the still open door. 

“He’s insane,” Randy accused, pointing a finger at the open door. “He’s a menace! My party is in so much trouble!”

“Your party is over,” Precious said as she hiked up her skirt to holster her weapon. “Where is your laptop named ‘Rover Boy’?”

“What? How do you know about that?”

“Where is it,” Precious said. 

“What do you care? You fucking whore!”

Then the most utterly and terrifying feeling came over Rey. Randy was suddenly sexually attracted to ... Randy. The same Randy still standing in his own urine. “I need to sit down.” 

“Oh you do like bad boys, don’t you, Miss Relena?”

“I think I may be about to vomit,” Rey said seriously. 

“What’s wrong?” Precious said, patting her concealed pistol before walking next to Rey and seeing that she sat down. 

“I don’t know,” Rey sputtered, rubbing her forehead. “I’m losing ... my mind.” 

“It’s just a lot of stress. It’ll be okay.”


	8. choices choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo gets some understanding, Heero and the Leprechauns fight, Charlotte and Randy fight. Rey kinda loses her mind.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 8/?

by Duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

Note: I am taking wild liberties with Irish lore. 

“I sorry,” Duo said, genuinely sorry he couldn’t give them what they were asking for, “but I don’t speak Banshee. I barely speak fucking proper Earth English and fuck does that piss folk off sometimes. Why can’t I just kill him? He can’t fuck Rey if he’s dead.” 

“You kill his body, he’ll be a ghost and he will haunt her for the rest of her life,” Helio said solemnly. “If you want to protect her, you have to break the wish.”

Duo scratched under his braid, then the back of his head. “If a ghost is a thing, then that can be destroyed too. I’m pretty good at killing a mother fucker.” 

They looked at each other, smiles growing. Helio grasped his hands and smiled like a happy orphan. “You are Death. You must wail, then the wish will break. Then you can kill him. We’ll help. We don’t like him, but you must also rescue our father.” 

Duo grunted, sank back down in Pitstop. So many ‘you musts’ in one breath wasn’t really his jam. “Fuck, we got to go back and tell Heero what’s going on. He’s going to freak out over me being missing.” 

“You learn wail first,” Haily said firmly.

“You got another banshee I can talk to? You got a book?”

“No. Only one,” Haily held up a single finger, “alive now. Always. One. No books.” 

“What happened to the other banshees?” Duo asked. He pulled out his phone to check the time and found he had no signal, and the time was stopped. “Why is my time stopped? Did you do something to my phone?” He checked to see if Heero had messaged.

Haily squished his eyes up like his head hurt for a moment. Maybe it did. “No time. Underhill. No time.” 

“Time behaves oddly. A minute here is an hour there. A day here, is a year, but not always in the right direction. When we leave here, it could be hours before, or a year after.” Helio said, gracious and sweet. 

“Oh shit,” Duo said, powering Pitstop up. “We’re going now then. I’m not leaving Heero like that. I’ll learn whatever it is out there.” 

“No! Wail!” Haily demanded. 

“No!” Duo shouted back, but this time the shout came from deep inside him, like it opened a portal in his very being to the outer reaches of the void. His hair stood on end, goosebumps raced down his arms, and his lips tingled like G force was pushing and pulling at the same time. “NOW!”

“Now,” Haily agreed. 

“Yeah, now,” Duo said, slumping down into his chair with a single cough. He’d seen a pillo who was ahead of him in line to be Deathscythe’s pilot get so battered by an engineering error that every bone in her body had been broken. She’d been a slumpy sack. That’s exactly how he felt right then. “Now.” 

“Yes, yes,” Helio said, grabbing for things he thought they might need as Haily opened the portal. “Come. Heero is a protected person?”

“Yes,” Duo said, not sure he wasn’t going to vomit. “No hurting Heero. Or Wufei. Or that girl that Rey is making kissy faces at. In fact, don’t hurt anyone other than Randy.” 

“No steal gold,” Haily snapped, “No eat.” 

“Great, great, fuck gold. Who wants gold? It’s heavy as fuck and gundanium is a better heatshield anyway.” 

They both looked at him like he’d just said the most blasphemous horror ever. If he’d had more energy, he would have rolled his eyes at them. 

Very quickly they passed back into Randy’s oversized back yard. Almost as soon as they were back in the real world, Duo’s phone blew up with notifications. He was just looking at them when Heero hit them. 

He took the twins both over in one lunge, smashed them together, then grabbed Helio by the shirt and started using him to hit Haily with. Dark blood splattered everywhere, raining down from the force of the impacts. When they stopped responding, having been converted to biowaste, Heero stood there, his bloody hands hung at his sides. 

“Heero,” Duo said firmly, rolling forward. “Heero, stop!” 

Heero’s response wasn’t loud and Duo could barely hear it, but what he could hear was in Japanese and at a politeness level that Duo had never heard before. As far as Duo expected, Heero could say ‘Would you like a cupcake’ in that politeness level and it would come with a side I’m going to rip your guts out. L2 dialect didn’t really have any politeness levels, and almost everything came with a side of ‘I’ll fuck you up’. “Yamero!” Duo screamed in the least polite Japanese he knew, “Stop!”

If Heero replied, it wasn’t loud enough for Duo to hear. The twins were already up and ready again, squaring off against Heero like dual spinning suns sandwiching an unlucky planet. Heero’s body language said he was going to be more a black hole than a planet. 

For Duo it was one of those moments where time stretched out like his life was flashing before him, which it kind of was if they killed Heero, he’d make sure they had hell to pay and only at the edge of his thoughts was Rey’s well-being. His focus narrowed to the fight still roaring before him. 

Haily and Helio couldn’t one hit Heero, but they were wearing him down. Heero’s stikes bent them out of shape with each hit, but they just reformed and came back at him again. They weren’t quiet about it either, even if Heero didn’t have any broken bones yet. 

It hurt just to watch. They’d be amazing sparring partners, if they weren’t fucking trying to kill each other. 

Duo locked his chair and stood up, mind racing for how he’d done that scream early that made them stop. “Yamero!” This scream ripped him in half. He felt like projected out over all three of them, a grayscale specter of himself. Snarling, he wrapped all three of them in frigid black wings and smashed them together. “Yamero!”

<><>

Heero blinked, finding himself on his knees on muddy torn up grass. He ran muddy hands into his hair and tried to collected shattered thoughts. Duo had been taken. The two laying on either side of him had done the taking. He didn’t remember fighting them, but he knew he had. He knew he didn’t want to do that again. And that touch that had stopped him, leaving his skin still chilled, he recognized that touch, the same touch that Duo had given him when he’d been in the coma. 

Duo!

Heero turned the where he subconsciously knew Duo was. Duo’s hair was loose, completely unbraided, darker and fanned out in a half circle up to his raised arms. Those eyes were dark, a purple so dark as to be almost black. 

He lunged into a run, racing to Duo’s side even as the two idiots beside him started nattering on about how Duo should come out of his body, he’d be more powerful, banshees, and witches. 

Duo’s knees buckled just as Heero reached him, sweeping him up into his arms. He held him close, resting Duo’s head against his shoulder. “Pitstop! Follow!” 

He hardly cared that the two giggling idiots jumped on Pitstop and followed along. They were clearly someone’s lost children. 

As he approached the house, Charlotte opened the door, scowling. “We have problems.” 

Heero grunted, carrying Duo in to lay him by the fireplace. “We need a doctor. Are any of your guests a doctor?” 

Looking back over his shoulder, he found Rey sitting on Randy’s lap, giggling as he squeezed her nipple. Mind blanking rage started to come back for Heero. He stood, fists doubling up. “Let her go.” 

“It’s okay, Heero,” Rey said, her head leaning back. “I’m in love with Randy. We’re going to get married.” 

Heero’s blue eyes narrowed. Sometimes he felt so stupid, so he grabbed what Duo would say, if he were awake. “But you don’t even like dick.” 

“I do now,” Rey said sweetly.

“It’s the wish,” Helio said firmly. He pointed a claw-tipped finger at Randy, “You didn’t tell us the woman was protected by the banshee!”

“What the hell is the banshee,” Randy sneered as he worked on sliding a hand under Rey’s shirt. 

“You touch her again, I’ll break your fingers, because that’s what Duo would want to do.” Heero said, though honestly, he wanted to do it too. 

“I can probably get to you before he does and I don’t want to break your fingers,” Charlotte said, working at the ropes tying her to the chair. 

Heero did a double take, but then went to untie her. “What happened?”

“He’s brainwashed Rey or drugged her. He had her tie me up because I’m looking for a laptop, on which he has videos of women he’s drugged to have sex with. I’m working as a private detective.”

“That’s bullshit. She’s a whore.” Randy sneered, taking neither Charlotte or Heero seriously.

Heero grabbed Rey from behind, pulling her right off Randy’s lap and striding with her over his shoulder back to where Duo was. “Take care of Duo, please?”

“Oh god, what happened,” she gasped as she sank to her knees. “His pulse is weak!” 

Helio, also on his hands and knees by Duo, gave Rey his best and most friendly grin in a mouth full of razor-sharp shark teeth. “He’s going to leave this body and become the banshee! When you’re close to him, the wish won’t affect you, but he can break the wish.” 

“Wish?” She asked, hand still holding Duo’s wrist, then it hit her and she grimaced, “Ewwww! Randy! How could you?”

Randy didn’t really have the spoons to reply as Charlotte had his stick shift in her hand, threatening to grind the gears, with her pistol pressed to his jaw. “Where is the laptop?”

“Heero! Man, are you going to let her do this to me? Man-to-man! Bro code!” 

Just as Wufei walked back in the still open front door and surveyed the damage, Heero said, with a completely straight face, “I’m a faggot. We’re not allowed to access the bro code.” 

“Chang! Help me.” 

“In this instance,” Wufei said, giving Randy a Vulcan eyebrow raise, “I believe I will be a faggot too. Is Duo okay?” 

“He’s barely breathing,” Rey said, moving long strands of hair out of Duo’s face. 

“Yāojing!” Wufei crossed the room in the most respectful manner he could, bowed to the twin leprechauns. “I am honored to meet you, I am Chang Wufei.” 

Haily sniffed at the air, said something to Helio in a language neither Wufei or Rey knew. Helio nodded. “It’s an honor to meet you, Chang Wufei protected of the Banshee.” 

“Can you tell me what happened to Duo?”

“Yeah,” Helio said, his words taking on the very slightest tinge of L2 accent. “He has used his wail twice in human form. Once more and he will be full fae again.” 

Heero was just returning from the kitchen with a paring knife. “I suggest we circumcise him. It will decrease his appetite for sexual relations for some time.”

“ALRIGHT! It’s in the safe, in the museum room below! If I give it to you, will you just go and never come back?”

“After you undo the mindfuckery you did on Rey. What did you drug her with?”

“Oh that was us,” Helio said cheerful, wanting to be helpful and part of the banshee’s group. “Randy made a wish in exchange for our father. The banshee can break it with his wail.” 

“But then he’ll die,” Wufei said, writing notes about the Yāojing in his little note pad.

“Yes,” Haily said happily, really not understanding the implications of English. “He will die.”


	9. One little mouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo has an out of body experience with St. Patrick and St. Francis, but decides it's all in his head, all just stuff his therapist told him. Haily, apparently, needed some of Duo's hair.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 9/?  
by Duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing  
Note: I’m doing Google’s CSSI this summer and one of the cool things they gave us was like an hour long lecture by Dr. Adia Gooden on unconditional self-worth. So that’s where the good advice comes from in this chapter. Link at the bottom. 

Fingers on his forehead, thumbs on his jawbones, Duo applied pressure and tried to force back the confusion and irritation. For one thing, he was very, very tired of being outside of his body. This shit wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to be real, but there he lay on the hearth, hair undone like some maiden in a story with the defense rating of an unattended pastry.

The bad guys in the story were even more fuzzy than his reality. Randy was obviously a sleezy bastard who should be most likely voted felon of the year at school, but the twins weren’t exactly humane, human, or safe either. Heero would always have Duo’s vote for good guy, no matter what he did, but he was seriously looking he wanted to break Randy’s bones, one at a time. Rey could be the actual maiden in the story, but he was 100% that she wasn’t a maiden anymore, if he understood that term right. Her new girlfriend clearly wasn’t a nice innocent sex worker either. She was some kind of covert not whore who, Duo was going to make sure, didn’t break Rey’s heart. Wufei, his dear friend Wufei, was taking notes and talking to the twins as if it were a research project, kneeling unconcerned by his body, which probably made Duo mostly likely to be voted a corpse. 

Wouldn’t be the first time, probably wouldn’t be the last. So standing there, disembodied hair still undone and trailing on the floor, he flipped everyone off and slowly turned 360 degrees to make sure he didn’t miss anyone. 

“That is uncharitable,” a new out of body guy said. 

Duo jumped, half tripped over his hair, staggered through Wufei without causing him the slightest pause in his fascination with leprechauns, “Jesus! Shit! You scared me.” 

The man waved one hand with some urgency, his long white beard shuddering. “No, no, I am not Our Lord. I am merely Patricius. Today is my birthday and I have come to be of service to you, my son.” 

Duo had been half listening, as he gathered up his hair and started a hasty braid. “Hey, Pat. Happy birthday. I hope you’re not dead. I’m tryin real fuckin hard to get dead.”

“Curiously, people also count this as my death date,” Patricius said with amusement. “My boy, would you like some help with that, that huge lot of hair?”

“Yeah, sure,” Duo said, “I don’t even know how my hair got undone.” 

“Hair has a special quality,” Patricius said, his big wooden crook laying at their feet as he made quick work of Duo’s hair. “You have, no doubt, heard of Samson?”

“Uh,” Duo hedged, keeping an eye on Heero’s rage meter. “I gotta get back in my body.” 

“Certainly, certainly, but I have to give you my gift first.” 

“I don’t actually need a gift,” Duo said, thumb stroking the end of his braid comfortingly. “I need to keep my boyfriend from losing his fucking mind.” 

“I really need you to pay attention to me, my son,” Patricius said sternly. In the same moment as he spoke, all the others in the room froze, the clock on the wall froze, and Duo spun around, sliding across the floor back to stand in front of the slightly glowing old man. “I am St. Patricius, a Roman man and a servant of the Everlasting God, patron saint to the Irish, and I am here to be a friend to you.” 

Duo’s ‘uh’ came with a nervous twitch of his mouth. It usually wasn’t a good sign when hallucinations could grab and shake you. 

“There now. Let us have a proper discussion.” 

Duo’s rage meter started ticking up, his eyes darkening. “You’re all in my head! You can’t hold me!” 

“My boy,” St. Patricius said, lightly tapping Duo’s forehead with his staff, “there are many things that are all in your head, but I am not one of them. You are so very angry, all the time. It’s like thorns around your heart.” 

“I am not angry,” Duo screamed, stamping his foot. 

“Well, I would be, should have lost my parents before I was old enough to remember them, nearly starved, gotten taken into a church orphanage so poor they could only give you cast off clothing, and then the training you endured to be able to go fly your big black man-shaped chariot! Then what that guard did with hitting you in the head. Most recently, those to little imps trying to get you to believe you are a banshee. I’d be well and truly wroth if I were you.” 

So much confusion and rage boiled in his still fragile brain. How could he love Heero if Heero loved him and he was a worthless, toxic, piece of shit!? Suicidal ideation that hadn’t visited him since waking up in the hospital pulled up a table in his brain and poured a nice long tea. “Well, you’re not me! Are you? You bougie piece of shit! I’m going to save Rey and Heero and check the fuck out of this shit before I get anyone else hurt?!”

Another voice showed up, a younger man, with reddish hair, except on the top where there was none. A dove sat on his shoulder. He wore a long brown robe and a smile like a saint. “Paddy, you’re not doing a very good job.” 

“Fine, Francis, you do it,” Patricius snapped, sitting down on a chair. “By all means. The young! They always think they know everything.” 

“It’s not like that Paddy,” Francis said softly, “You’re not going to get anywhere, if you scare the boy.” 

“I’m not a boy,” Duo growled, struggling at the invisible bonds holding him. 

Francis had elegant, expressive hands that made Duo think the guy was probably good at card tricks. “Will you walk with me, Duo, please? If you do, I will tell you more about your current situation and how to have the best outcome for everyone.” 

“What is there to tell? I’m a monster! I deserve to die!” 

Patricius took his staff in both hands. “Can I hit him just a couple of times? I’ve found it’s very good for getting someone to have some sense.” 

“What won’t be necessary, Paddy. Please just keep the time still for us. Duo, come with me.” Then he turned and walked towards the open door. 

Patricius looked at him, eyes opening wide, jaw jutting out. “Well, go with him, my son! He’s the talker in all this. Don’t be afraid.” 

“I ain’t afraid of shit!” Duo growled stumbling just a little as Patricius released him. He felt like a child for saying it, for wishing it was actually true. 

Francis had stopped just outside the door to go down on one knee to feed crumbs that he’d gotten somewhere to a little mouse who had run up to him. “It’s a beautiful night,” he said pleasantly.

“Great night for a cripple to die a hero’s death,” Duo groused, arms folded over his chest. “Are you two fuckers angels, like Aziraphale and Crowley?”

A red eyebrow rose, while as if it were perfectly natural, the little mouse ran into Francis’ hand and disappeared into his pocket.

“You’re not gonna hurt that mouse, are you?”

“No, not at all. I’m a saint, not an angel. Why does the fate of the mouse matter to you?” 

Duo shrugged like it didn’t, but his eyes were still on the guy’s hand hidden in the pocket of his robe like he might crush the mouse or something. “No reason.”

“Here,” Francis said, holding the little brown mouse out. “You carry her. I told her we’d find her a good place to have her babies.” 

“Oh no, like, if I carry her, she’ll get hurt.” He held up both hands, waving to keep them little mouse safe. 

Francis took Duo’s right hand and set the mouse in his palm. “She trusts you.”

“But I’m a monster,” Duo said sadly. 

“You are different, that doesn’t mean you are a monster. The life of a mouse or the life of a man can be seen in different ways. A mouse can be a threat, who will eat the wheat, who might carry disease, or we can see the beauty of her soul and our kinship with her. You have a power, but you have to decide if you wish to be a demon, a fae banshee, or a young saint. The choices are yours to make.” 

Duo rolled his eyes, but followed along as this strange man walked towards to darkness in the yard. “Well, that hasn’t ever been true before.” 

“I has always been true and you have always chosen to save lives where you could, to help where you could. The results of your actions have been bloody, sometimes, but your intentions and values are deeply good. You care, Duo.” 

“Everybody cares. I’m nothing.” 

Francis turned, smiled. “I disagree. Now come with me and I shall tell you important things as we heal these dogs.” 

“Those dogs are dead,” Duo pointed out, still following along. 

“So too were we all,” Francis said, kneeling down by the first chewed up rottweiler. “Human language is always too weak to describe everything, Duo. It’s always a little short of something. You deserve to be alive.” He laid his hands on the dead dog and the wounds disappeared. When Francis smiled, the dog’s chest rose with breath. “Before you say you don’t, the people who love you believe that you do.” 

“They’re,” Duo struggled to find the right word, tears pricking his eyes, “blind.” He looked away from the house, from the camper, the man, from everything that had any meaning. “I just got lucky too many times. My number is up.”

He didn’t see the man stand or step closer. “They are not blind,” Francis said, touching a fingertip to Duo’s forehead. 

That touch sent an emotional warmth flowing through Duo, awakening laughter and love and wonderful moments, of falling asleep next to Heero, feeling safe, of back and forth with Rey, of those moments in Maureen’s arms like he was her real son. “Oh god, this makes it so much harder! Why did you do this to me?”

Francis laid an arm over Duo’s shoulders and guided him on to the next dog. Duo held the little mouse tenderly cupped in his hands. 

“My son, if you’re going to make a great sacrifice, you should at least know what you’re doing.” 

“I can’t let him rape Rey. I love her! I can’t let her get hurt like that.” 

Francis petted the reborn dog, while looking at Duo with great compassion. “You know that kind of pain, I take it?”

“Fuck you,” Duo growled, lips crumpling up, tears finally slipping down his cheeks. 

“Different cultures use different words. Haily and Helio call you the banshee because that is what they know. I call you a saint because that is what I know. You have to find the label you want for yourself. A banshee may have limitations, but you do not.”

“Fine, dog whisperer, how to I make everything right then?”

“That’s my son, that’s the truest nature of who you are,” Francis said as he gave Duo’s shoulders a gentle squeeze. “We need to start by forgiving yourself.”

“Oh yeah,” Duo rolled his eyes, “If you only knew!”

“I do know,” Francis said, leaning closer to their eyes were lined up, even though Francis was taller. “I hear the pain in your soul. I tell you that your sins are forgiven. Try your best to accept that forgiveness.” 

“Yeah,” Duo said, not being able to meet the saint’s eyes. 

“It doesn’t get easier,” Francis said, slapping Duo’s back. “The next step is to accept yourself as you are?”

“Well, that’s easier that forgiveness. I’m a hell-bound murderer. I’m going get what I deserve. I can live with that.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Francis said. “Does Heero see you this way?”

“No,” Duo shook his head. 

“Do you see him as a hell bound monster?”

“Of course not! He was just a kid and he’s done so much good as an adult.” 

“And you?” 

“Aw fuck,” said, thumb gently petting the little mouse in hands. “Fine. Fine. I get it. Okay, say I can do those steps? How do I get to break that wish and not die?”

“Well, you could bind crucifixes to the leprechaun’s heads and bury them alive,” Francis said, while looking at his nails. 

“Nope. Find another way. They’re like... kids.” 

“Dangerous children? They don’t deserve to be sent to Hell?”

“No,” Duo said firmly, then snorted, eyes narrowing. “Fair, fine. Maybe I don’t deserve to go to Hell either.’ 

“Progress! Next you need to be there for yourself because things will go wrong again. You have to show up for yourself. You matter. Can you commit to that?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good, good, then you need to stay around people who love and support you.”

“How does any of this help me? When were you alive again?”

“When I was mortal is irrelevant. Instead of breaking the wish, forgive it.” 

“Forgive it,” Duo said slowly, mouthing the words like they were part of some strange new language. 

“You heard me.” 

“I am so not a saint.” 

“Your choice.” 

“I don’t really think that’s a choice. I’m not even a priest. How in the hell am I supposed to forgive his wish?”

“You’re a saint and you made all these dogs alive. Can’t you just give me one more good wail before it takes my life?”

Arm still around Duo’s shoulders, Francis walked them back to the house. “I’m pretty sure I’m just hallucinating you and all that shit is stuff my therapist tried to tell me.” 

“Faith is a choice too,” Francis said kindly. “I have faith that you will make good choices. I do want to tell you though, that sometimes people lie and they are not your friends. “Be careful when trying to tell them apart.” 

“Thanks lots, St. Fortune Cookie. I’ll do my best.” 

Once back inside, everything was still frozen, except for the angry, skinny Santa Clause. 

“Do I need to hit him a few times?”

“That won’t be necessary, Paddy. I think our young saint is going to do a splendid job!” 

“Good,” Patricius declared, holding his staff as he rose. “Let us go and find another worthy soul to intercede with!” 

“Indeed!” Francis said, lightly slapping Patricius’ back. “Away!”

As time started again, Duo’s attention was completely on Hailey and the knife in his hand as he brought that blade up to a good ten centimeters of hair. 

“Oh no, you don’t! You son of a bitch!” He ran towards them. They both ran towards the entrance to the basement, knocking Rey over on their way. 

Duo wasn’t sure if he tripped over her or his own body, but like a snapping rubber band, he went flat and into said body, then sitting straight up and scrambling to his feet while keeping the mouse safe in his hands. “Son of a bitch! I am going to beat the shit out of you!” 

Standing there, he glanced down at Wufei’s notes, noticed, “mouse appeared from nowhere.”

“Those fuckers cut my hair!” Duo howled. 

It was all too much to take in. Everyone just kind of stared at him, his hair dancing around him like some supernatural kind of foreshadowing, a little mouse cupped in his hands. “What? I’m telling you that shit cut my hair! I need some place to put this here mouse!”

Link:   
Dr. Adia Gooden  
https://youtu.be/EirlZ7fy3bE


	10. choices were made...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins get their father back... that doesn't work out well.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 10

by Duointherain

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

Note: I am hopeful for a nice weekend of writing! 

Duo stood there, a bit of his hair wilting over his clenched fist like unhappy five-day-old flowers. “They cut my hair,” he said, outraged. He looked at the little mouse still held in his right hand and repeated himself. 

No one else was paying much attention to him, which seemed somewhat fair as he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention to them either. Some of Randy’s house guests had come down to confront his sorry ass. Charlotte was also pretty pissed at him and Rey was positively hiding behind Duo while still being completely focused on the people surrounding Randy. Wufei had completely disappeared somewhere. Duo snorted, thinking maybe Wu had gone after the hair thieves. When no one else responded, he held up the strands of offended hair and screamed, “They cut my hair!” 

Then he noticed the rest of them. There were three guys, all in really nice body armor, pistols drawn. Heero had that uncontrollable rage rising again. Charlotte didn’t have the rage, but she had a, maybe more dangerous, look like she was going to cut them up into little pieces. Rey sure liked dangerous fuckers. “So! I didn’t mean to like interrupt, but what the fuck are we doing here?”

“Sit down, son,” the leader of the group said, calm and professional, “before you die sooner than you need to.” 

“I don’t like death threats,” Duo purred. 

“Okay,” the second in command growled, meaning anything other than okay. “Everyone on the couch. Sit your asses down.” 

He gave Charlotte a shove and smoother than Hennesy, she grabbed his wrist, did a Wufei like move and disarmed him. 

Heero followed her cue, hitting under the leader’s chin with a heel palm strike, while taking control of the guy’s pistol hand and discharging his weapon at the quieter third guy. Heero was mad strong when he wasn’t upset. Duo was absolutely sure he was dating the sexiest man on this or any other planetary body. 

The next blow took the leader down for the rest of the day, at the very least. 

It took Charlotte several more hits, both giving and receiving before she had her target down. A knee on his back, she hiked up her gown and pulled a syringe from her functional black lace garter, visually checked the label, uncapped it with her teeth, then jabbed him in the ass. With practiced ease, she relieved him of his vest and tossed it towards Rey. 

“She’s hot,” Rey whispered, her chin resting on Duo’s shoulder. 

“Heero with tits and a broader vocabulary,” Duo agreed, picking up the vest. “Put it on.” 

“Maybe we can all just not fight?” Rey said, sounding more like the Relena he’d known in high school. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Duo said, setting his mouse on top of his head, where it quickly burrowed down into the thick part of his braid. “There might be more of them. Probably. Lift your arms.” 

She did as she was told and he strapped her in quick, even though it was too big for her. Then her eyes went all hearts and mush and she whispered, “Randy....”

Duo reached out and caught said asshole by the back of his shirt and yanked him nearly off his feet. “What did you do to her?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He shouted and squirmed to get free of Duo’s powerful grip. Duo grabbed the back of the vest Rey wore and spun her around, way from Randy. 

“The fuck you don’t,” Duo growled, slamming Randy into the thick oak mantelpiece, busting his nose and leaving a splattering of blood. “Now. What did you do and how long does it last?”

“It was the wish! The green guys! I’m sorry! We need to get into the safe room!”

“You have a whole bunch of guests,” Duo growled, barely resisting the urge to smack him against the wood again. “You gonna just leave them to get popped by this guys that are after you?” 

“I can’t help them!” 

“Is there an air leak alarm in this shit?” Duo growled kind of to Randy, but also to Heero, who he knew had checked the place out.

“Fire alarm, by the door,” Heero said, searching the third guy for useful weapons and maybe identification. 

“My, my, what have we hear,” Martha said, standing in the door with her arms crossed. “Maxwell, what have you done?”

With Rey at the end of one arm and Randy half dragging him in circles at the other, he shouted, “It wasn’t me!” 

“Possibility of additional hostiles, at least twenty civilians,” Heero said, standing half at attention.

Charlotte held up her hands, not meaning to get shot by anyone. 

“What did you give them,” Martha asked, looking at the beautiful woman in the evening gown. 

She was about to ask why Martha thought it was her, but the needle cap was still between her teeth, the syringe in her hand. “Approximately 50 mg of ketamine.” 

When she went to recap the syringe, Martha shook her head. “No. Do not recap syringes.” She grabbed it from Charlotte, jabbed it into the ass of one of the unconscious men, then broke the needle off in his ass. “Now. On the plane,” she pointed at Heero, Charlotte, and Rey. “Where is Chang?”

“Not me? Why not me?” Duo said, slowly spinning as Rey tried to reach Randy and Randy tried desperately to get free. “I want on the plane! This place is bullshit!”

“You’re going to help me find the cryptids,” Martha said firmly. “I see your left side is feeling better.”

“I’m a banshee,” Duo said, grinning, all full of teeth and no reason. “I’m gonna puke!”

“You are not. I’ve seen you giggle through torsion and g force that would make Yuy vomit. Joel, find Chang.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” the blond said, pulling out something that looked like a phone, but served as a tracking device. 

“Ma’am,” Heero said, chin tucking towards his chest politely, “Please evacuate the civilians first. There are multiple hostiles of unknown intentions. Further, it will be tactically superior to have potential hostages removed from the scene.” 

Duo’s back was turned, but Charlotte caught the initial look before Martha smiled sweetly, a seemingly genuine warm that unsettled the shit out of Charlotte because she’d seen the look right before. She touched her earpiece. “Joel, clear the site of civilians, evac them to the nearby town, return.” 

With that she turned her attention to Charlotte, “Are you a civilian?”

“No,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Dr. Precious Alexandria. I was hired to retrieve a laptop with indelicate video on it. The same laptop that these fellows seemed to have wanted.”

“No one hires someone over indelicate material,” Martha said, having decided that the woman was too honest and trusting to be a threat. “Maxwell what in the hell is wrong with Rey?”

“She may have been dosed with an unknown psychotropic,” Charlotte said with worry.

“And who did that,” Martha asked, sounding as friendly as Roman style bloody eagle. 

Randy had the good sense to realize she was coming for him and now he was trying to hide behind Duo and turning him the other way. 

“It wasn’t me,” Randy howled trying to slip out of his shirt to get away from Duo, which only had Duo move to grab a handful of his hair. “It was the leprechauns! They said she’d fall in love with me!” 

“We’ll be taking that wish back now,” a shorter more raisin like leprechaun said from the entrance to the museum in the cellar. 

“Oh shit,” Randy howled, struggling so hard that Duo actually kicked him in the back of the knees. “I was going to release you, just like I said, as soon as I could figure out how!”

“Well, isn’t that nice,” the older leprechaun said, “You didn’t though, did you? I have my gold back and my freedom, but then there is the matter of the wish and the hundred and fifty years your family kept me prisoner, leaving my poor young boys to fend for themselves. We’ll have to do something about that.” 

“You can’t kill him, if you do he’ll haunt Rey!” Duo pulled Randy closer, protectively, even if he did have a fist full of his hair still. 

“What do you care what mortals are haunted by,” the elder leprechaun snapped. Like magic he crossed the dance floor to them, them smiled up at Martha, suddenly taking his hat off and bowing slightly. “M’lady.”

“It’s Lubdan, right,” Martha asked. “I’d like to invite you and your boys to my house for a while. I will give you 25 pounds of gold for the kindness.” 

“You know of me?” He preened, putting his hat back on his head, with a sharp toothed smile. 

“Where’s Wufei,” Duo asked. His hair stood up on the back of his neck. When Wufei had called Martha a pitviper, he hadn’t understood, but he felt he was closer now. 

“We’d never hurt a friend of yours, Banshee,” Lubdan said sweetly, every bit as much of a pitviper as Martha was. “We gave him a rare family heirloom book to look over. He can’t keep it, mind you, but he seemed perfectly happy to read and scribble notes.”

“Can you undo the wish?” Duo asked, still having to hold Rey away from Randy, “Without hurting Rey?” 

“Is that your wish,” Lubdan purred. 

“Da! He helped us,” Helio said. 

With a flick of Lubdan’s fat crinkled little hand, Helio flew backwards.. “Be quiet, boy!” 

Without even thinking about it, Duo reached out his hand, ignoring that his fingers looked bony and grey, nails long as claws and Helio’s flight. Eyes a dark Shinigami purple, Duo felt the cloak of death around him like a halo. “We don’t hurt those we are meant to care for,” Duo half snarled, half purred. 

Rey ran towards Randy, who was cowering between the two supernatural forces. Martha grabbed her by her arm and nearly flung her back towards Precious. 

Jumping up on a table, Lubdan snarled back. “You want favors from me, and then insult me? You’re a baby and I’ll give you the spanking you deserve!” 

None of them noticed Helio scurrying towards Rey and Precious. 

Heero had come closer, one step behind Martha because he was afraid she’d touch him to push him back if he moved any closer. All worry that Duo was just having a mental breakdown left him, leaving him with a clearer sense of self and peace then he could ever remember having before. Duo’s hair seemed darker, possessed of a near violent energy that made strands dance around his face. A shiver went over his shoulders, down his spine. Duo Maxwell was the most beautiful being he’d ever held in his thoughts. The memory of the howl that had drawn him out of his rage now came back to him as the beautiful song he’d ever heard. 

The wrinkled little old man in the funny clothes wanted to fight Duo, but Heero had no worries. Duo was the incarnation of Death. Everyone loses to Death eventually. 

Behind them, Helio held up his hands and crept cautiously closer to Precious who struggled to hold onto Rey. Nervous, acting like the child he really was, he whispered, so his very angry, very violent father couldn’t hear. “Bless her.” 

Precious barely believed in any gods, but the one she found comfort in, if not any trust in the reality of, she’d made offerings to since she’d become a teenager. That was the only deity that came to mind for her. A blessing couldn’t hurt. She spun Rey around, holding her shoulders firmly, but gently and said with as much reverence and prayer as she’d ever felt in her whole life, “In the name of Aphrodite, I bless you.” 

Her tender kiss on the top of Rey’s head took all the tension from Rey. Rey wrapped her arms around her chosen lover, holding her tight, sobbing suddenly at release from the evil wish. 

“I’ve got you, Rey. I’ve got you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”


	11. The Sins of the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight with Lubdan goes sideways. Heero kisses Duo back to life. Martha gets kidnapped.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers 11/?  
by Duointherain

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, or Leprechaun

Duo gave Randy a light kick, as if to nudge him out of the way while he gave a come on motion with both hands to short, ugly, old leprechaun, “Well, what they say, fuck around and find out, ya short little fucker!”

“Oh, I’m short, am I,” Lubdan snarled, “You’re fae living in a meat sack that looks like a lass!”

“At least I don’t look like a shat out raisin,” Duo nearly shouted back, positively bouncing with energy, his hair undone and jumping around like static with nervous energy, “Come on you little shit! I’ve had a bad day and I think it’s all your fucking fault! You’re a shitty father and I’m going to kick your ass!”

“Oya boyo! You’re going to regret those words!” Lubdan snarled. 

“Now now,” Martha said, “Stepping forward, I think we can all work this out nicely, no need for fighting.

“Woman! Shut yer mouth,” Lubdan growled, moving as if he would backhand her. 

Duo wasn’t sure how he knew it, but he knew that the backhand didn’t need to connect to work. Faster than he could really get his mind around, he intercepted, feeling the impact of the blow against his chest, but getting a hand around Lubdan’s hand squeezing until the leprechaun went to a knee.

Duo also couldn’t see the bat-like wings that had spread out from the center of his back, but he could feel them as if they’d always been there, dark and shivering in anticipation. “I told you. Don’t touch my friends.” 

“I want my gold or you’ll never have the end of me,” Lubdan growled up at Duo.

“If Martha says she’s got gold for you, she’s got gold for you. Who gives a shit about gold? It ain’t like it’s air.” 

“Uh,” Lubdan said, lips curling into a sarcastic smile. “So it’s air you love, ah brat?” His other hand reached towards Duo’s chest and pulled. 

Duo’s lungs collapsed like vacuum sealed soul. His grip weakened on the leprechaun’s hand as his head rolled back. His wings disappeared as he fell backwards into a very mortal state. 

Heero caught him, gentled him down to the ground. Yelling and screaming surrounded him, but he only had enough attention for Duo whose eyes were rolling back in his head as his lips turned blue. He slid a hand under Duo’s neck and tilted his head back, then leaned close and pressed his lips to Duo’s. With his tongue he nudged Duo’s blueing lips open and blew, gentle, but firm, as if he could transfer his own soul into his lover’s body. His thoughts ran round and round, please don’t die again, please don’t die again. 

Out of his body, Duo’s wings snapped out into full spread, eyes a dark violet, grin not that of a saint. 

Lubdan jumped down from the table, landing firmly on Randy, who flattened under him. He made to run towards the cellar museum entrance, a wobbly green penguin. 

Haley pressed himself back against the wall, eyes wide. About that same moment, Wufei emerged from the cellar museum holding some small token in his hand and shouting in Chinese. 

Whatever Wufei held, the Leprechaun didn’t like it at all and backpedaled as quickly as he could. 

Duo pulled his wings in a bit, blocking the path of retreat and howled at him. If the howl could have lasted just a bit more, Duo felt it would have turned the little shit back to bones. Before that could happen, the leprechaun spun, lunged at a surprised Martha and was gone. 

Duo’s howl turned to a curse in his mind and a cough in his mouth as Heero sat him up a bit, patting him on the back. Back in his body, chest aching, grand wings back to no more than a figment of his imagination, he wheezed. “I’m gonna murder that little son of a bitch!” 

“Mother always said he was very nice and loved us very much,” Helio said sadly. 

“Sometimes parents lie for your own good,” Precious said, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

Note: This chapter is short. I’ve had trouble getting it done. I worry no one likes this story.


	12. Duo's just so done!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Martha kidnapped by the fleeing leprechaun, Duo is just so very done!

“Goddamn SON of a Bitch!” Duo screamed, staring at the place that Martha had been. Rage sparked around his head, amethyst lightening dancing around hair that just didn’t want to be constrained. He held out his left hand and his favorite scythe appeared. It was the one that Heero had given him on that first mission where Relena had been included. It sparked to life with a green fiery rage. “I have been trying to be so good! I have been trying to be friendly and peaceful and civilian! I look at the people at school and mom’s nice polite house and I have tried SO fucking hard!

Randy cowered at Rey’s feet. Heero’s eyes widened in awe and a weird kind of joy that only encouraged Duo. 

Duo pointed at Randy, nails now long and black like talons. “You! 1. You’re going to go get that fucking laptop and hand it over to Rey, who will do with it as she pleases. 2. if you ever touch another living being without active consent, I’m going to rip your soul out and eat it like a canape. You feel me?”

Randy nodded crawling forward until he could get to his feet, then running down into the cellar to get the laptop. 

“And you and you,” said pointing at Haley and Helio, “You’re with me or your with him. You get in my way and I’ll rip your souls out too.” 

Helio swallowed hard, fingertips touching, “But we don’t have souls.” 

“The fuck you don’t,” Duo snarled. “And you ever touch my hair again, I’ll make being wall mounted look like a gift. Do you FEEL me?”

“No,” Helio said with wide frightened eyes, “We’re way over here.” 

Heero took a step towards Duo, looking back over his shoulder. “He meant, ‘Do you understand?’”

The twins both nodded vigorously. By then Randy was back up from the cellar. 

“Good. Everyone out of the house now,” Duo said sweetly. “Out you go.” 

He spun his scythe, making a great flaming emerald circle, catching fire to the floor and opening a door into Underhill. 

Heero grabbed his hand, holding tight. Their eyes met and Duo smiled, a bit more the normal goofy assed Duo. “Don’t eat anything.” 

The twins followed along, creeping behind them, whispering in Irish. 

Duo had never opened a portal into Underhill before, but he was feeling his instincts.   
“I’m coming too!” Wufei called, running into the tunnel after them. 

“You let them cut my hair,” Duo growled. 

“Only a little! I needed to see what they would do with it. It was about learning!”

“Don’t forget to try the cake, scholar boy,” Duo growled back over his shoulder. 

Helio looked back at Wufei and shook his head and mouthed, “Don’t eat anything.” 

Wufei smiled knowingly, gave him a polite and grateful bow. 

“I feel like fucking Peter Pan,” Duo grumbled, stepping, “Oh! My mouse!”

“I have your mouse,” Wufei said sweetly, handing the little thing off to Helio, who passed it to Heero, and from there into Duo’s pocket. “Am I forgiven?”

“Yeah,” Duo said, stepping out into what seemed like the front yard of an old fashioned cottage. “You’re forgiven, Wu, but shit! My hair!” 

The twins dry washed their hands, looking at each other like they’d pissed off a giant. 

Heero still had hold of Duo’s hand. Heero had always considered himself the sane one of the two, until it came to violence, but this was like walking right into Duo’s dreams, which were way more colorful than his. “Now what do we do?”

“You ask that like I had some kind of plan? Okay, boys, where are we?” 

Both of them were hiding behind Wufei at this point, but Helio whispered. “It’s the house our mother was imprisoned in. Only our father could lift the curse.”

“There’s a lot of curses around here,” Wufei said, scribbling down more notes.

“Then you should feel right at home,” Duo snapped, honestly still pissy about his hair, even if it was technically forgiven. 

And then Martha, the damsel in distress came striding out of the little moss covered cottage. She held an old fashioned brown suitcase in one hand, that seemed to sway differently than her walk and growl every few moments. 

“Martha!” Duo said, happy to see the bitter hold doctor. “I was so worried about you! Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay. I live with more dangerous things than a disgruntled dead beat leprechaun.” She dropped the suitcase, put her foot on it to hold it still, then asked, “Do you by chance have a mouse on you?”

“Uh, yeah,” Duo said, not wanting to give up his mouse. “I’m supposed to protect her. She’s going to have babies.” 

“Francis never was very good with conjugation. Give?”

With a sigh, Duo pulled the little mouse from his pocket and handed it to Martha. 

Almost immediately, the mouse turned into a lovely woman with pale green skin and dark kind eyes, long green hair and a joyous smile. “My boys!” 

The twins ran into their mother’s arms and she held them tight. “I’ve missed you so much! You must tell me everything you’ve been up to!”

“Mah mouse is their mother,” Duo said before clearing his throat and sort of flattening out. His fancy ball lighting dissipated into a halo of dark smoke. “Where is the evil little bastard? How did you get away?”

“You’re not the only component one around here,” Martha said, picking up the squirming suitcase. “Let us be on our way. If you would please open a passage to the front of the house, Duo?”

“I’m the fucking God of Death,” he muttered, as if that should mean he didn’t have to take orders or do his homework, or anything mundane ever again.

“Yes, well, that’s all well and fine, but it’s time to go home. If you would be so kind?”

Duo sighed, both frustrated and relieved to just be himself again. It was much easier to use his scythe to open the passageway and they all trooped out, following Martha, who was either Wendy, Mary Poppins, or Dr. Mengele, someone in between. 

“I’m hungry,” Duo moaned. 

“Me too,” Wufei said. 

“Let’s stop for burgers on the way home. Maybe we can go watch the stars for a bit and hang out, you know?”

“You’re a bottomless pit,” Martha said, with slight affection. 

Joel was waiting for them with the jet. The police were taking Randy into custody. Rey and Precious were clinging together like magnetic Valentine’s bears. 

“Joel,” Martha asked, “will you please roll out the jeep for the kids? They’re not ready to go home yet.”

The very pretty blond man rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. 

Not too much longer, Rey was demanding to drive because the rest of them were shady. Duo, who forgot poor Pitstop was tired and didn’t care as long as he could lean on Heero. Which that’s all Heero wanted too. Precious got the front passenger seat because wanted to smile endlessly at Rey. Wufei had to sit behind lovebirds and next to lovebirds and he complained the entire way. 

Everything was better than it had been, back mostly to normal. In years to come, this first St. Patrick’s Day would become the story that no one could beat. While almost no one believed that Duo was really Shinigami, Heero knew the truth.


End file.
